I realize, thanks to my gender, it would seem odd that a woman actually looks forward to getting older.
But given I’ve always been an odd duck, it shouldn’t shock too much, eh?
I was born on a cloudy Monday, February 16, 1970 at 4:59am to She Who Birthed Me. Again, apologies about the breech birth, Mom! The hospital that won the birthing lottery (prize: ME!) was Santa Ana Hospital, a nice lil three storied building washed all in white and tucked away in lovely downtown Santa Ana. It was later turned into a mental sanitarium. No joke. I was born in what would become an insane asylum. *Grinchy grin* Says so much, doesn’t it?
Most of you already know the story of My Life so no need to rehash with long and winding rhetorical. I had been The Chosen One (I’m a Slayer...ask me how! Sorry, Joss, had to!), became the Bad Seed and trundled right on into She Who Shall Not be Named for a very long time.
Then I pulled my head from my ass and once that happened, I realized the air smelled MUCH better.
The last four years have been my defining years, as I call them. But none more so than this last one. One year ago today, I sat in this same spot, staring at the computer screen as I typed the words “The End” on this little tale called Timeless Night. Yep, I’d written a book and as lucky happenstance would have it, the final chapter got written on my own birthday. I remember sitting back and thinking, okay. I did it. Said I’d write a book and there. Mission accomplished. In all honesty? That day, my 43rd bday, I was torn. I’d written a book, my lifelong dream, yep. But did I have the courage to take it to the next step? Did I have the wherewithal to actually submit it to a publisher?
What if they hated it?
What if they said it sucked?
What if I wasn’t this glorious writer girl I had allowed myself to believe I was?
What if I was doing nothing more than setting myself up to be a massive failure?
What if I just bitch slapped that voice of doubt into submission and ran with some reckless bravery? How about practicing what I preached to everyone else? Who knew what could happen? I certainly wouldn’t know just sitting here, staying immobile and scared as fuck.
So, where are we now?
One year later, almost to the very minute...
My first book, Timeless Night, Book One of New Camelot, has been out for almost 5 months, ebook form.Two days ago, my short story titled “No Change Policy in Room 8” appeared in the My Bloody Valentine anthology from Breathless Press, the same smexies who published Timeless Night. This coming up Friday, February 21st, Timeless Night will be released in PRINT! I just finished and submitted the 2nd part of my Cloie Chronicles. And...and...
Timeless Desire, Book Two of New Camelot, hits the public on March 21st!
One year has passed. 365 days.
If this was all I would ever know, if not even one more word I wrote got published, I’d be happy with that. I am breathless with what I have, at this moment. I am humbled and ecstatic. I am blessed.
I guess this gist is you have to just keep trying. Get out of your own way. Duct tape your self doubt. Keep moving forward in YOUR beliefs and dreams. They won’t fall in your lap. They won’t come to you. You have to work hard. It will hurt. You will lose far more before you win. You will stumble, you’ll fall and hit the ground. You will lie there bleeding, in pain and desperate to just give up, to give in.
Get back up swinging. Make yourself rise. One foot in front of the other. You CAN change your stars.
Keep going. Find your dragon and ride it.
Who knows what adventures are waiting for you?
Gear up, take a chance. Throw caution to the wind.