I can't remember the exact day but I can remember how I felt when I decided to bite the bullet and just do it.
Write a book.
Three simple words. Small words. And words that hold this immeasurable magic and terrible fear all at the same time. It was a journey I'd started once before, decades ago and had met in failure.
No, that's not right. It wasn't a failure. It was a detour.
You see, 20 years ago, I wasn't ready. I was young, brash, arrogant and unworldly. I was a young woman just starting out on her journey, really. I only knew the siren song of happiness and the glow of getting all I wanted when I wanted it. I wasn't spoiled, far from it. I just always seemed to do the "right" thing, get the things I wanted.
I was a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin, a wife and a friend.
I had no idea who "Teri" was but I was pretty good at pretending I did.
And then...then life happened.
With it came disenchantment, loss, betrayal, pain, anger, despair, fear and doubt. I won't bore you all with THAT tale but suffice to say it was an eye opening experience. For someone who'd gorged herself like a fattened sow with the Cupcake of Happiness, I was left with no choice but to nibble from the salad plate of Reality.
It was a meal that lasted until earlier this year. And I'm not saying the lessons are complete, but something changed during it all.
I changed. I found out who I was, what I was made of and more importantly, that I WAS capable of greatness.
And there was no shame in that.
I quieted the demons of my own making and I sat down to write what became "Timeless Night." I started doing it as a tribute to a relationship I was in at the beginning but finished it as a tribute to myself when it didn't work out.
In essence, I grew up. I grew up and accepted life as it was, all that it was. And while not perfect, its my life. And I'm happy. I truly, verily am.
Sometimes the girl must die first in order for the woman to be born.
And here I am.